Name: Nate Hill
Age: 32
Hometown: Sarasota, FL
Job description: Performance artist, fly stock manager ("I make food for the flies and make sure they are happy; it's like a zookeeper but for flies")
Upcoming projects: Mr. Dropout, a detachment walk from Inwood to the Financial District, Craigslist Female Nude
Select links: Official site
[Dressed as Mr. Dropout at a lab on the Upper East Side.]
Describe your current state of mind.
I just want to stay in the moment right now. I want to stay hungry and passionate for what I’m doing. I don't want to get sleepy or tired. I want to keep doing different pieces [and] asking myself: Is this what I what I want to be doing right now?
I feel like there’s something really contrary about a lot of stuff that I like to do. I think there’s a reason why I chose to do this on one of the hottest months in New York City. Like if everybody’s dressing in shorts and t-shirts I want to be covered from head-to-toe in fabric.
How much can you see through your mask?
I can see everything enough to not stumble. I can tell that you’re a woman. But I couldn’t pick you out of a line-up.
Is the janitor looking in here?
The blinds are drawn.
Oh yes the blinds are drawn. He’s probably not going to come in. But it’d be funny if he does. Because I actually know him but not well enough to explain this. [laughs] He's a cool guy. I hear him fiddling around with his keys. Hold on for a second.
So who is Mr. Dropout?
It’s a person who’s been overwhelmed with everything and who has to detach from the world. Part of the inspiration was the movie Safe. Julianne Moore plays a woman in LA who finds herself riddled with panic attacks and she goes to doctor after doctor but she can’t explain it. She starts to question whether it’s psychosomatic. She doesn’t know if she’s actually sick so she goes to this compound [for] people who can’t live in the world; they have physical reactions or maybe it’s in their head.
There’s a guy who is an outsider [who's] seen on the horizon every so often in the film, dressed similar to [Mr. Dropout]. He can no longer expose his body to the air. He’s so far gone in isolation; it's like the man who was not there. And they show him every once in a while. He doesn’t even have a normal walk anymore; he walks like an animal.
I saw this movie like five or ten years ago. I even tried to find it on Netflix but it’s not available anymore. Anyway that idea inspired me to have somebody who looks like something really bad happened to them [and] needs to stay covered. It’s not really an uplifting piece. That’s the reason people loved Death Bear. They read something in that that gave them hope.
Is it obvious that I’m second-guessing this new piece? When you start on something new you’re kind of self-conscious about it.
The success from Death Bear was overwhelming and I needed to do something to move away from the pieces that brought me the most notoriety because I got worn out from answering the same kind of questions about those projects. I wanted to kind of erase that history.
[Mr. Dropout's costume] is portable. On my way to the cleaners to go pick up my laundry I can perform my piece. If you look at my work until now I’ve either been working in people’s houses or on the subways. I know that I sound crazy but it really excites to be doing performance art in unconventional places and have it be open to the street side public. So this is taking it to the next level - that I can perform anytime anywhere I want.
What responses have you received on the piece so far?
This hasn’t been performed yet because I have a warrant right now. And it’s from not appearing in court for improper dog tags.
Really?
I got a summons to appear in court but I didn’t go so my summons turned into a warrant. I found out because I got stopped with my dog again for having her off leash. They told me I had a warrant and they let me off. They asked me, "Do you have anybody who can take the dog?" And then it occurred to me: Why would they ask me that? Oh. They’d take me to jail right now. So I was like, "No." They let me off.
What kind of dog do you have?
A shepherd mix.
What inspired the animals?
I don’t know if I want to talk about the animals anymore.
That's fine.
No, I do. I do want to talk about the animals. Lately I’ve been thinking about rappers a lot. Did you hear about the controversy with Rick Ross? He claimed that he was coke dealer before becoming a rapper. He made millions of dollars that way and then got a record deal to be a rapper. Then he just rapped about dealing cocaine. But then it came to light that he was a correctional officer and a CO (correctional officer) in a jail, which obviously undermined his persona.
To me it’s like, Who really gives a shit? That’s one of the things I love most about being an artist. I can express all of these different personalities, almost like a schizophrenic, and just run with it. That's one of the reasons I got interested in masks, for obvious reasons.
As Death Bear, what did you learn about relationships post-mortem?
[I learned what] you already knew about relationships. That most of them end badly. But I was just there to create a ritual where there was no ritual; either you get rid of [your stuff] or hold onto it. There was no shepherd like that. I don’t think I ever set out to learn anything about relationships through Death Bear. I just wanted to help people to come to their own conclusions about things.
Whatever conclusion that you draw for yourself is uninteresting to me. I’m not really invested in my work on that level. I know a lot of artists say that they care in that way, but I feel like it’s out of my hands. People would ask me, "Do you think that Death Bear helps people?" And I would always say the same thing, "I don’t know. You’d have to ask them." I feel like I don’t really want that responsibility. It’s like the contestant from Work of Art. She said, "I am not responsible for how you experience my work." It’s obnoxious to say that. [But] it’s on you.
Can you see my expressions through this [mask]?
I can see your eyes.
Can you see that I’m smiling?
Yes.
You can?
I can. One of your projects explores the restraints of monogamy and features photographs of women you want to sleep with but cannot. Can I ask why you chose to be monogamous?
It’s hard to answer that question with this mask on. I recently became engaged. I made two photo pieces (Fake Fake Fantasies and Three Girls I Want to Sleep With But Cannot) so far dedicated to her.
That's interesting. Why monogamy? Listen, you have to negotiate those things in a relationship. I wouldn’t choose monogamy. But it’s what she wants and, frankly, I get things in exchange for sacrificing certain things. So that’s why most people choose monogamy: because it’s worth it. She's a phenomenal person because she puts up with everything that I could possibly throw at her and she’s un-phased by any of the costume work [and] the bouncy rides. She was with me throughout all of that taxidermy stuff, you know? She would come over to my house and I would have rotting dog and submersion rubbing alcohol in the closet and she would say, "This is weird, but okay. I’m getting used to the smell." So she has paid her dues when it comes to me.
Age: 32
Hometown: Sarasota, FL
Job description: Performance artist, fly stock manager ("I make food for the flies and make sure they are happy; it's like a zookeeper but for flies")
Upcoming projects: Mr. Dropout, a detachment walk from Inwood to the Financial District, Craigslist Female Nude
Select links: Official site
[Dressed as Mr. Dropout at a lab on the Upper East Side.]
Describe your current state of mind.
I just want to stay in the moment right now. I want to stay hungry and passionate for what I’m doing. I don't want to get sleepy or tired. I want to keep doing different pieces [and] asking myself: Is this what I what I want to be doing right now?
I feel like there’s something really contrary about a lot of stuff that I like to do. I think there’s a reason why I chose to do this on one of the hottest months in New York City. Like if everybody’s dressing in shorts and t-shirts I want to be covered from head-to-toe in fabric.
How much can you see through your mask?
I can see everything enough to not stumble. I can tell that you’re a woman. But I couldn’t pick you out of a line-up.
Is the janitor looking in here?
The blinds are drawn.
Oh yes the blinds are drawn. He’s probably not going to come in. But it’d be funny if he does. Because I actually know him but not well enough to explain this. [laughs] He's a cool guy. I hear him fiddling around with his keys. Hold on for a second.
So who is Mr. Dropout?
It’s a person who’s been overwhelmed with everything and who has to detach from the world. Part of the inspiration was the movie Safe. Julianne Moore plays a woman in LA who finds herself riddled with panic attacks and she goes to doctor after doctor but she can’t explain it. She starts to question whether it’s psychosomatic. She doesn’t know if she’s actually sick so she goes to this compound [for] people who can’t live in the world; they have physical reactions or maybe it’s in their head.
There’s a guy who is an outsider [who's] seen on the horizon every so often in the film, dressed similar to [Mr. Dropout]. He can no longer expose his body to the air. He’s so far gone in isolation; it's like the man who was not there. And they show him every once in a while. He doesn’t even have a normal walk anymore; he walks like an animal.
I saw this movie like five or ten years ago. I even tried to find it on Netflix but it’s not available anymore. Anyway that idea inspired me to have somebody who looks like something really bad happened to them [and] needs to stay covered. It’s not really an uplifting piece. That’s the reason people loved Death Bear. They read something in that that gave them hope.
Is it obvious that I’m second-guessing this new piece? When you start on something new you’re kind of self-conscious about it.
The success from Death Bear was overwhelming and I needed to do something to move away from the pieces that brought me the most notoriety because I got worn out from answering the same kind of questions about those projects. I wanted to kind of erase that history.
[Mr. Dropout's costume] is portable. On my way to the cleaners to go pick up my laundry I can perform my piece. If you look at my work until now I’ve either been working in people’s houses or on the subways. I know that I sound crazy but it really excites to be doing performance art in unconventional places and have it be open to the street side public. So this is taking it to the next level - that I can perform anytime anywhere I want.
What responses have you received on the piece so far?
This hasn’t been performed yet because I have a warrant right now. And it’s from not appearing in court for improper dog tags.
Really?
I got a summons to appear in court but I didn’t go so my summons turned into a warrant. I found out because I got stopped with my dog again for having her off leash. They told me I had a warrant and they let me off. They asked me, "Do you have anybody who can take the dog?" And then it occurred to me: Why would they ask me that? Oh. They’d take me to jail right now. So I was like, "No." They let me off.
What kind of dog do you have?
A shepherd mix.
What inspired the animals?
I don’t know if I want to talk about the animals anymore.
That's fine.
No, I do. I do want to talk about the animals. Lately I’ve been thinking about rappers a lot. Did you hear about the controversy with Rick Ross? He claimed that he was coke dealer before becoming a rapper. He made millions of dollars that way and then got a record deal to be a rapper. Then he just rapped about dealing cocaine. But then it came to light that he was a correctional officer and a CO (correctional officer) in a jail, which obviously undermined his persona.
To me it’s like, Who really gives a shit? That’s one of the things I love most about being an artist. I can express all of these different personalities, almost like a schizophrenic, and just run with it. That's one of the reasons I got interested in masks, for obvious reasons.
As Death Bear, what did you learn about relationships post-mortem?
[I learned what] you already knew about relationships. That most of them end badly. But I was just there to create a ritual where there was no ritual; either you get rid of [your stuff] or hold onto it. There was no shepherd like that. I don’t think I ever set out to learn anything about relationships through Death Bear. I just wanted to help people to come to their own conclusions about things.
Whatever conclusion that you draw for yourself is uninteresting to me. I’m not really invested in my work on that level. I know a lot of artists say that they care in that way, but I feel like it’s out of my hands. People would ask me, "Do you think that Death Bear helps people?" And I would always say the same thing, "I don’t know. You’d have to ask them." I feel like I don’t really want that responsibility. It’s like the contestant from Work of Art. She said, "I am not responsible for how you experience my work." It’s obnoxious to say that. [But] it’s on you.
Can you see my expressions through this [mask]?
I can see your eyes.
Can you see that I’m smiling?
Yes.
You can?
I can. One of your projects explores the restraints of monogamy and features photographs of women you want to sleep with but cannot. Can I ask why you chose to be monogamous?
It’s hard to answer that question with this mask on. I recently became engaged. I made two photo pieces (Fake Fake Fantasies and Three Girls I Want to Sleep With But Cannot) so far dedicated to her.
That's interesting. Why monogamy? Listen, you have to negotiate those things in a relationship. I wouldn’t choose monogamy. But it’s what she wants and, frankly, I get things in exchange for sacrificing certain things. So that’s why most people choose monogamy: because it’s worth it. She's a phenomenal person because she puts up with everything that I could possibly throw at her and she’s un-phased by any of the costume work [and] the bouncy rides. She was with me throughout all of that taxidermy stuff, you know? She would come over to my house and I would have rotting dog and submersion rubbing alcohol in the closet and she would say, "This is weird, but okay. I’m getting used to the smell." So she has paid her dues when it comes to me.
Congratulations on your engagement. What is your idea of happiness?
I want to feel like a boat cutting through water, something moving smoothly but quietly. And that’s one of the things I like about doing the detachment walks because there's some kind of elegance about it, something graceful about moving almost invisibly - but obviously not. It’s almost like Predator. I like the contradiction of trying to hide in plain site, but making yourself more visible than ever.
What other things do you like about being Mr. Dropout?
I like the unpredictability of it. I told myself that I wasn’t going to complain too much. Maybe you can edit this to make it seem like I’m not complaining about this the whole time. When Death Bear got to the height of its popularity I was approached by the BBC and some other producers to do a reality show for a day to see what it was like. I talked to my parents and everybody and they were excited.
A guy flew out from LA and some New York associates were with him at this girl’s house. So we’re outside and the head producer and the cameraman say, "Tell us how this is going to go."
And I’m like, "I don’t know how it’s going to go."
"Okay, maybe we should go up and talk to her first."
"No!"
"Well, okay we’ll see how it goes this time. We’ve got the whole day to get it right."
I don’t think they’re going to do the show. It turned out that the producers brought more out of people because they gave me an air of validity. So people would open up more when the producers were there because I wasn’t just a weird guy in a bear costume.
My point is that they were taking away the unpredictability, obviously because it’s a reality show. But that's one of the things I love most about [the Mr. Dropout] piece because I don't know what's going to happen.
Is there anything that you think is overrated?
Does anyone ever ask you these questions back?
People have.
You’re like, "Yes they do and I fucking hate it. And they’re doing it right now."
To be fair, I'm publishing an interview of myself, conducted by the artist Jeff Stark. So I've been in your seat as well. And I think it's natural to be self-conscious when you're the subject. But it definitely informs how I interview, in the same way a photographer would benefit from being the photographed.
I read your repertoire of questions. Why are you interested in doing this?
I’m curious about people. And this website is a way to connect with them.
I’m not trying to be a diva right now.
Maybe this whole idea of a costume is overrated. I think people might say, "Why does he need to express this idea publicly." I think that’s going to be one criticism - if anyone cares to criticize at all. "Well, he says he wants to detach. Why is he doing it in such a loud manner? Why doesn’t he just do it in his room at home?"
Or maybe [the critic will] say, "Oh that guy. He’s overrated. He had one good idea with Death Bear. And if you look at the rest of his work it's somewhat mediocre." That’s a fear of mine, actually. That’s what I was talking about with success though. You’re always worried about hitting that bar again. And I heard 50 Cent talking about that once [with his record], Get Rich or Die Tryin. It sold like 60 zillion records or some shit. And he said in one interview, "I can’t do that again. It’s not going to happen." And he sounded really content. He was okay with that.
I use music analogies a lot because I don’t follow artists that closely. But that’s why I feel like it’s important just to love what you’re doing, which is another cliché. So if people don’t like it then, eh, okay.
And underrated?
Reading. I don’t have a context for a lot of the performance work so I’m always like, Shit. This idea sounds pretty weird. I’m just going to hope that no one’s done it before. It’s not really the way to go about it but that’s the way I’ve gone about it. So far no one’s been like, "That shit’s been done." So I need to read more.
What are you most curious about?
I’m going to take a detachment walk through Washington Heights, along Broadway, and West Harlem. And it’s really important to me because I’m half black. I want people who are black to see what I’m doing because I feel like a lot of the work that I’ve done so far has been for white kids in Brooklyn. And there’s nothing wrong with that. They made me who I am; I love ‘em. I just want to do something new for other people. I hope that doesn’t sound bad. People who aren’t initiated into performance art aren’t going to know what I’m doing. But I’m not even sure if that’s important.
What's offensive?
I'm detached. The idea is that I don't get offended. [But] I would be offended if somebody did something to me.
Has that possibility entered your head?
I already look like something’s happened to me; I don’t think anybody’s going to do anything. Some bad things have happened. People would just grab my dick as Candy Crack [and] in free bouncy rides. But that’s pretty bad though. I never really enjoyed that too much.
Then with Death Bear I had that intimate [moment] with my ex-girlfriend. And that was not pleasant. That was a whole 'nother thing. I didn’t know. She ambushed me with [stuff]. Her flatmate made the appointment. But anyway that’s all in the past. At the time I was freaked out.
Whatever’s going to happen is going to happen; it’s New York City.
What's one thing – tangible or intangible – that you couldn’t live without?
My legs. This piece is so simple. It’s just walking just moving through the city and trying to detach from such a sensory overloaded environment. I don’t want to be too whiny. But if you look at my work there’s a lot of confrontation. There’s me and them. Them being the public. But it’s also a metaphor for something. I don’t want to get too into that.
How would you like to be remembered?
I want to be remembered as someone who gave everything to the city. I remember when I first came here when I was 16. I just fell in love with it.
You're building a woman out of Craigslist photos. How's it going?
It’s going well. I recently got a picture of a girl’s boob.
Are you good at making collages?
No I’m not. But I’ll figure it out. Or I can work with somebody who’s good with it. I liked building people from the A.D.A.M. project. I always wanted to build a person. And my father had a God complex; he's still with us. He is a famous doctor in Florida so I got that from him and I want to play out those roles and pretend like I’ve got these powers.
I’m into objectifying women. But I’m interested in why women would want to do these things. I think the [Craigslist] piece is going to be good. I’m not even sure if those pieces are really art. They might just be fetish. But who cares. I don’t really worry about it too much.
Is there anything you’d like to add?
I’m sorry I rambled so much. Thank you for pretending that it was interesting. Very good.
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